UBIF CONFLICT RESOLUTION GUIDE

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PRINCIPLES FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION

1. RELATIONSHIPS OVER OUTCOMES
   - Preserve relationships while resolving conflict
   - Assume good intentions
   - Focus on interests, not positions

2. TRANSPARENCY & HONESTY
   - Address conflicts early, not after resentment builds
   - Speak truth with compassion
   - Listen actively and seek understanding

3. COLLECTIVE RESPONSIBILITY
   - Conflicts affect the whole community
   - Involve relevant parties in resolution
   - Learn collectively from conflicts

4. RESTORATIVE, NOT PUNITIVE
   - Aim to repair harm and rebuild trust
   - Focus on needs and understanding
   - Reintegrate people into community

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WHEN CONFLICT ARISES: STEP-BY-STEP PROCESS

LEVEL 1: ONE-ON-ONE CONVERSATION (Days 1-3)
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If two people have conflict:
1. Schedule a private conversation
2. Each person speaks uninterrupted about their perspective
3. Reflect back what you heard
4. Identify shared values and interests
5. Brainstorm solutions together
6. Agree on action and follow-up

Questions to ask:
- What do you need from me?
- What values of ours matter to you here?
- What would repair/resolution look like?

LEVEL 2: MEDIATED CONVERSATION (Days 4-7)
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If Level 1 doesn't resolve it:
1. Select neutral mediators (ideally 2 people)
2. Each party shares perspective
3. Mediators reflect back and clarify
4. Explore underlying needs and interests
5. Mediated brainstorm of solutions
6. Agreement on path forward

LEVEL 3: SMALL GROUP CIRCLE (Weeks 2-4)
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If Level 2 doesn't resolve it:
1. Gather 4-6 people from community
2. Use circle process (everyone gets uninterrupted time)
3. Focus on harm caused and needed repairs
4. What does the community need to heal?
5. Accountability and restitution
6. Reintegration plan

LEVEL 4: ALL-CHAPTER DISCUSSION (Weeks 4+)
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If Level 3 doesn't resolve it:
1. Bring to full chapter meeting
2. Present what has been attempted
3. Allow community to weigh in
4. Collaborative problem-solving
5. Decision-making about next steps

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TYPES OF CONFLICTS & APPROACHES

INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT
→ Usually best handled at Levels 1-2
→ Focus on understanding and repair

STRUCTURAL CONFLICTS
→ When systems/processes create friction
→ May need process changes at chapter level
→ Address at Level 3-4

VALUE CONFLICTS
→ Different views on UBIf principles
→ Requires deep dialogue
→ May need chapter reflection on values

RESOURCE CONFLICTS
→ Disagreement about money, space, time
→ Usually solvable with clear allocation
→ Levels 2-3 often effective

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COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES

Active Listening
- Put down phone/distractions
- Make eye contact
- Don't prepare your response while they talk
- Ask clarifying questions
- Reflect back what you heard

Non-Violent Communication (NVC) Formula
"When [OBSERVATION], I feel [EMOTION] because I need [NEED].
Would you be willing to [REQUEST]?"

Example:
"When meetings run 45 minutes over, I feel frustrated because
I need to get home to my family. Would you be willing to
end by the scheduled time?"

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WHAT DOESN'T WORK

❌ Gossip & triangulation (talking to others instead of person)
❌ Passive aggression or withdrawal
❌ Public shaming or blame
❌ Making unilateral decisions
❌ Bringing up past grievances
❌ Getting defensive instead of curious

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PREVENTION: STRONG CULTURE

- Build relationships before conflict arises
- Regular check-ins on chapter health
- Clear agreements about decision-making
- Space for people to voice concerns early
- Culture that values difficult conversations
- Skilled facilitators trained in mediation

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